life update, anyone?

this was the sunset today, the end of my 10-5 day at my favorite rustic furniture shop... ;)

this was one of mom's inspirational finds at b&n the other night.

[engagement pictures that my awesome sister, rach, took of us 11/24 on the most freezing day ever, after thanksgiving was warm and in the mid-50's...we took pictures on a day that ended up being around 30.

and add windchill. and some pictures taken at sunset by a lake. hah!! torture. lol.]

lately i've been figuring out venue choices and pros and cons with mum and a couple other valuable perspectives who are of great help. :)

almost time to unveil a date. almost. ;)

suspense is awesome, right?
it's grand tension.
a very grand sort indeed....
after i worked 10-5 at the store, i closed up and went straight to babysitting a sweet little one, K, and her two older siblings...5:30-9.
i got home at 9:30 and it's the strangest thing to look at the clock and see "10:35pm"...
when i normally get home around 5:30.
oddest feeling ever.
but gotta love having work.
and saving money.
and buying christmas gifts.
and splurging on oneself.
heh. :)

dreads? ow?

so....it's 7:12 pm and rachel is dreading my hair.
one dread, she says.
it's okay, you can take it out later, she says.
ohmygosh, it looks so awesome, she says.
i feel it with my fingers. it feels weird. it's sticking out away from my head, peoples.
it feels like it looks weird, i say.
noooooo, it looks pretty good, she says!
take it out right now, i say.
no...you actually have to take it out right before you take a shower because you'll need to rub conditioner in it to get it out, she says.
so i sigh.
it's kind of bringing on a slight headache on the left side of my head where she's working.
she's done a couple dreads on herself; her long hair....
it's fun and interesting doing dreads on someone else, she says.
well, that's nice. :D
ow.

 obviously, i don't --and won't-- look like this. ahem.

i like the look of dreads on some people.
i'm eccentric like that.
but on my? with my hair this short, and dreads making it even shorter?
spare me.
sigh again.

it's a pie kind of night.

i made apple pie tonight.
it's justin's favorite....and i'm just glad i'm testing out my skills making it, because i've only made it a few times so far in my life......probably once a year, each fall with all the apples we get from one of the local orchards.

and let me just say.....
it's really one of the best things to ask how the pie is and hear things like
i think there's just enough sugar in it.
i think there's just enough salt in it.
there could be a little more butter in it. [says the person who loves butter a little more than the normal butter-loving people out there. ;) ]
i've developed a solid taste for softer, acoustic-style music, but today it's been three days grace as i peeled apples with caleb....red as i sliced the apples. rise against as i mixed up a lazy crumble topping for the pies instead of rolling out crust. i haven't bridged into underoath yet tonight....just going back in the archives of rise against.....but it may come yet. lol.

i ran a little over a mile with my awesome, younger siblings, caleb and rach.
ran...then walked a bit....then ran more. i got a side stitch, or else i would've ran the whole time, obviously. :P
i'd have to say my favorite part was the yoga-related stretching before and after the running/walking....
the lightly-chocolate protein shake that caleb made for him, rach and i was not to my liking but i drank it down anyways because they said i'd be more sore if i didn't partake. oy.

next up in my night: making a minestrone soup for tomorrow lunch so i don't have to do anything but warm it up when we get home from church. :)
and.....clean this kitchen.

i have a feeling i may be sleeping really good tonight.......

but first, let's burn the butter that's heating up, waiting for onions and soup fixings first.
this is a great start to the rest of the evening.

sigh.

right. yeah. a different path.

i wish i could give everyone a good old random blog post, or something of interest to discuss or give an opinion on like the good old days of blogging regularly....
but i realized i'm still walking a certain path that's leading uphill right now. and has been for quite a few months.
it's a good road, but heck if it isn't showing me things about myself and changing me slowly...
God knows it's time i take time and realize what i'm learning and exactly the ways i still need to grow up and bloom in.

so....i'm not going to promise any blog posts anytime soon.
because i can't, obviously.
and i don't want to.
all i can muster these days is some pictures and a summarization and a stupid promise, anyways.

Add caption

i'm hitting pause here, but still reading blogs and commenting.
i need to make it through this certain path of uphill journey.
growing into myself.

[btw, i recommend reading this post of honesty and adventure by kelsey. it's inspiring to me.]

photo by pj :)

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
[Eleanor Roosevelt]

random catch-up for people who actually read and are interested in my life....heh. heh.

hi. :)
again.
crazy, huh? two freaking days in a row, beka? blogging?
who knew it could happen again.....wow. :P

well....here's some news.
march was the last time i had a 'real' haircut.

i can tuck it behind my ears mostly now!!
so exciting. :)
i'm growing it out. 

to about this length.
[this was taken in 2010]

we still swing dance.
this was on the way there last week.

a few weeks ago, my brother proposed to martha. they're getting married in march.
me and my sisters are all in the wedding, as well as several of martha's friends. :)
it's going to be epic. especially once we can all decide on a great bridesmaid's dress for us all to wear. blue. one style. hmmmmmm...... :)
as for justin and i, we haven't set a date yet.
but we're close.
closer than ever before.
plus, we've been getting to walk through and learn so much together right now, that we wouldn't have if we'd been planning/bringing about a wedding during this time. so thankful for how our story is unfolding.
:) but yeah.....we're throwing ideas around for a wonderful, down-to-earth, on-the-casual-side celebration including quite a few family and friends. :) it's going to be pretty sweet.

sunday night, i did henna for sarah, anna's sweet and awesome friend, and her two girls....and then sarah's boyfriend, kelly [a legit tattoo artist, haha], did henna for me.
they're all pretty cool, down-to-earth people. :) that was a really fun night, let me tell you. :)

a henna tattoo i did for sarah on her palm: ^

the other part of the henna project i did for sarah. :)
strangely enough, in the few years it's been since we discovered the awesomeness of henna tattoos, and the times i've done it for girlfriends when we get together, i've never done the palm, or the collar bone area.
so that was a first for me; having so much space to work with, challenging, but so much fun. and she loved it. so that's even more awesome. :)

i did anna's palm when we got home. :)
i also did my two younger sisters monday night....i'll have to post those pictures when i can. :)

also, in other life news, the 6th-10th of september, i got to go visit justin and his family. :)

we did awesome things like have chicken tacos with freshly made tortillas by my sweet future mother-in-law. :) :)

we went to an outdoor movie showing by a friend of theirs and freeze my butt off --but that was so much fun. ;) also, i got to see pj --my best friend, who is now --as of march-- an old married woman and soon to be a cute new mommy too. :)

...justin took this one:)
cate, jen & craig's cute little girly has [relatively;] warmed up to me these past few visits i've gotten to spend with them all. :) cutest niece [to-be] ever. :)

....and.....us. :)
she loves her uncle justin/bubby. it was hard to keep her in my arms when he was around. ;)
[read between the lines: he's super awesome.]

aaaaaand now google account is being stupid again.
saying i ran out of space for uploading pictures.
heh.
wonderful.
that's all for now, then!
see you around. :)
tonight: a sleepover with heath and steph and anna. [derek, heath's husband, is off on a business trip thing]
carrot cake [heather], cinnamon chip scones [me], a movie [steph], and girl time, here we come.... :) :)
yay!

what's new with you?
are you enjoying fall, now that it's basically here now to stay? :)

steadfast.

in which the grand gestures of love look a bit different these days.
[the above is a post by sarah, at emerging mummy. iloveit.]

....faded from those far off dreams of europe and urban lofts and fill-in-the-blank greatness, and more vivid and present in the absolute loveliness of this worthy moment full of the steadfast. the hard and the beautiful.

God.

love.

time.
...because time is always there; it's steadfast, also.

olafur arnolds music. ♥

We dream no longer of urban lofts on busy streets. We don't even dream of being important. We find ourselves learning to let go. We don't dream of overseas adventures often nor do we dream of fame and fortune. Being busy seems rather overrated.
We dream of old farmhouses surrounded by trees that have a tire swing. We dream of gardens and family homesteads. We dream of big family with happy chaos and barefoot summers. We dream of roots going down, growing old together. We dream of a simple and slower life together, close to each other all of our days.

[this was a draft from a few months ago that i decided to publish. weirdly enough, blogger let me upload a picture?! i have yet to officially check out my options and buy something, because this week has been crazy busy but good.  same for next week, so it might be july before i post next:P heh. have a grand june!]

sap and sun and shadows and perfect weather. lol.

have i said lately how much i love the taste of coffee?
and the color of the sky no matter what season it is.
and the feeling of being able to sit under the shade of a mature maple on the most perfect day of the week so far.
my leather amplified bible in front of me on the grass, open to the book of james.
sunshine. layers and branches full of leaves glowing with it.
and the feel of getting up from grass you thought was dry, that feeling of everything being damp. lol.
like childhood. i don't sit on the grass very much anymore.
bugs. chairs are better. the ground is . . . not as convenient.
just . . . i don't do it much.
but ah, the feeling of this afternoon . . .
crazy beautiful weather, the gift of coffee ;), a breeze whispering over pages [like james 2], and laughing over all sorts of random stuff that comes up when i'm talking to justin on the phone. discussing some verses that stunned me. like this one. and why or why not people talk about it, preach on it.
i rambled about something odd that if i told it to anyone else, they would give me that look. the one that says heh, beka....you're crazy. just kiiiiinda weird....
and i am.
but i'm just thankful that some people [ahem, very few, very rare] accept and even appreciate --gasp! even love?-- the fact that i am . . . me. 
i just feel so lucky it's him.
some days really suck to be long distance. actually, all days do. and as time goes on and we get closer, talk about and open up about different stuff and dream all over the place with hopes and logic combined, it really hurts some days to be apart. to have only the phone and sometimes, once in a while, skype to connect us between the one weekend a month-ish that works out to see each other in person.
[take yesterday for example. a perfectly good day. everything was going great. no huge drama or anything. but inside? inside i could. not. stop. missing. him. i'm not usually so melancholy at every turn as i was yesterday. so.....i'm super thankful for today. a lot more free, positive mood. still miss him, but it's not horrible at the moment. lol.]

then again . . . there are some days, you're just so thankful for the utter blessing of someone who truly loves you, and takes you on your good, bad, weird, freak-out, lazy, fantastic, and horrible days. and vice versa. [obviously, i'm no where near perfect:P]
and that's when you find yourself laughing at jokes and teases as you ignore the fact that there are bugs in the grass all around you and there are a lot of things yet to fall into place in this time before that blessed day, but still . . . you just know that it'll all be perfectly wonderful in the end. [reminds me of that joy set before you scripture. so much hope, even though we may go through so many trials on the way to it!]
really tough at times, but then that's life.
and the tough times will be okay because we'll be together and God is always with us. and He knows all that's in store. how we're going to draw closer to Him through it all, as our lives are washed with His grace.
through the valleys and the storms.
through dashed hopes and fulfilled hopes.
through conflict and peace and every.single.bit.of.it.

 ~~~

wow. a post without pictures.
yes. i survived and posted without pictures.
so.....here we go. i need to figure out what i want to do about that storage issue. thanks to all you who put in their two cents of how you do it! :)

artistic endeavors: i just want you.

so. this happened way back in november.
right around the 19th, to be exact.
i love it. 
:)
here's a link to the context of the quote.
gilbert and anne, talking it out.

i started painting it at dusk.

it was inspired by a graphic i'd seen. no, sadly, this is not an original.
but i did kind of make it my own....a little bit.

see? the original.

 ♥

old journal-blog entry: missing you.

music of the moment: away we go: eisley.

the parents are gone to the restaurant of two weeks ago; coffee is brewing, i'm having a piece of pecan cheesecake for no reason, and i'm missing you.
[written and drafted:
6:45pm, friday december 9 2011]

i just love bruises.

why the title? because. this move, although challenging and super fun to execute and practice, hurts the next day. or two. or three. as you can imagine. heh:)
so, since the place where normal thursday night swing dancing has switched ownership and the swing dancing is discontinued there until further notice... {sad face} ...we went to martha's house the other night. to dance and learn/practice new moves found via youtube.
it was grand. :)
so...we saw this ^^ video in the sidebar thursday night.
watched it.
and ben and i attempted it.

here's my personal favorite out of the recorded painful practices, for your viewing pleasure. lol

momentum means a lot. heh.
and....finally a good one! had to work on keeping my legs straight and together.

otherwise, here's the froggy throw.

a little easier than the windmill, you can imagine. ;)

and, finally, ben and martha:
[learn. to. dance.
it's the best thing ever. :)]

reminiscing summer 2011.

i'm way back in august 2011 now, backing up pictures.
it reminds me that i didn't get to take pictures at the josh groban concert. :(

sad day. i had forgotten.

oh, the height issue i have.
i hate heights. especially with concrete.

wow. life was so different how many months ago.
it's all so good though. :)

and just a few days later, august 12...up north.

coffee and milk.

i love that film, the shop around the corner.
still have yet to see its later counterpart, you've got mail.

dang. living on the river was awesome for that half of a week.

i try to be funny.

bonfires at sunset time by the river = gorgeous.

cave point. ♥ that place.

ah, up north. peninsulas are exciting places. especially in the off-season, when all the people you see are shop people and grandparent-aged people who live up there.
which is fine with me.
it's gorgeous up there, and it helps that the places aren't clogged with tourists when we go, so we can enjoy it more.

yay for summery van reflection portraits. hah.

the book that took me forever to read.

that was a fun night. the weather couldn't be better; our family walked up and down the water as the sun set....
it was awesome. :)

♥

there's something about being by the water. golly.

♥ sisters.

at a coffee shop named, simply, drink coffee.

a long bike ride back to the campgrounds with the family....

august 30...getting near the end. little jillian. wow, her face. :)

waiting for everyone else to be ready to get out of there.
that ledge is where a daddy long leg met me. *shudder*

ohhhh man, we're too fun.
it's great sharing a bed with rach. super mucho fun to tent with the brothers while the rest of the family camps in the trailer.
we read till we're tired, we laugh and talk and fall asleep to the sound of the outdoors. sometimes, if it's not overcast, we leave the top tarp piece open so just a thin screen separates us from the wide open sky. you wake up to weird bugs sitting on the screen and the early morning sun shining in the nearest wall.
it's...amazing.
:)
well, that's all the mountain i'll post for summer '11 right now. hah.