hi, world.

it's been ages [literally, maybe a month?] since i've even logged into my blogger account.
i kinda miss reading and seeing and getting inspired by and learning about other lives and beautiful things out there.

i'm so tired and don't want to go anywhere tonight.
but we cannot do or get what we want all the time.
sigh.
true, no?
i just need another cup of coffee.
i just wanted to say hi. :)

this is me, this morning.
i got henna done last night by a friend. aka, the legit tattoo artist boyfriend of a sweet friend. lol.

i shall never get a real tattoo because i am afraid of needles.
but henna is good enough for me.
art. heck yeah.

also...this past week, i've sold 5 different canvases, via my etsy. :) pretty exciting.

the eve of my 21st birthday.

the best and simplest parts of love, i believe. patient. kind.
and my hand was holding a mug of coffee, by the way. you can't see it though. :P
i wrote this on my arm.
for the heck of it, and because pastor was talking about marriage and selfishness/selflessness today in honor of valentines day. [speaking of which, here's a post of 5 lessons learned after 18 years of marriage.]
we had dinner.
i grabbed the yarn a lady from church hand-dyed and gave me a year or more ago, plus an I-9 sized crochet hook and the pattern i printed off the other day in hopes of making a hat with nothing at all wrong with it.
i haven't crocheted in the longest time.
actually, since october.
yeah. that post. with the mohawk. thingy. going on.
[speaking of old posts --or oldish posts-- i miss that shade of dark red/purple....darnit....so gosh darn fun....]

we'd been talking about it while recalling different chick flicks with cousin david, so i found a walk to remember on the dvd shelf and put that in.
i was the first one to sit down, and everyone else slowly came and nestled wherever they could on the couch, the chairs, etcetera. it never happens that way. i hardly ever watch movies anymore.
i got to about round 5, and the increase in stitches was wonky, so i gave up and pulled most of it out before i wound it around, around, around and mom helped me get the knotted stuff free and able to be wound.
that movie is sad.
mi dispiace, i don't have many brilliant thoughts tonight; i'm even having a hard time catching typos and wrong words that shouldn't be where they're ending up . . . i guess going to bed at 1am how many nights in a row and waking at 6:40 on a gorgeous sunday morning will do that to ya . . . kind of . . . yeah.

i love carter hulsey's music.
my other favorite song by him [maybe if it rains] . . . << this link is actually a really really good cover.

oh. and a few highlights of saturday:

1. lyddie, posing cuteness.
2. me, trying to pose in the freezing outdoors.
3. rach, her 35mm, and . . . yeah.
4. heath, kelly, anna, steph, shannon, and me, at heather's bridal shower. :) only 20-something more days till the wedding . . . of course she's counting down. ;)

a happy thought.
caramel breve, extra shot.

. . . and even though the sky is better seen with your own eyes . . .
ben borrowed my camera with a tripod and took this:

since it's only 11:06pm and i like to be adventurous, i'm going to stay up till my birthday hour. 12:20am.
yeah. plus, someone amazing has to wake up at 1 anyways to work overtime hours, so i'll get to hear his voice and basically the first happy-birthday of my day . . . :)
the thought makes me smile.
so.
to stay awake [did i mention i'm slightly crashing? no? well....] now, i'm going to either edit and update the peoples page, or go upstairs and journal some horribly pointless, jumbled up sap trying to talk about another year even though the actual day doesn't actually matter; it's all the days between that make you feel it.

color, color, color. this was february 6. ^^
no one has to tell me that this is a tired, and very-very-very random post.
i figured it'd just be good to post some life stuff and write a bit.
sigh.

here, you can find last year's birthday-day post. fun, fun.

when we seek to discover the best in others,
we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.
[william arthur ward]

i ♥ sisters. they're flippin' amazin'.

lyddie says she was thinking about flynn rider's smolder here. can't you tell. lol. :)

lyddie: what's the difference between mexico and new mexico?
me: ......let's google it.
lyddie: [huge smile] yeah! because i don't wanna go downstairs and find the meaning in the encyclopedias that weigh 100 pounds!
me: ...do we have any of those?
lyddie: of course. [wink] ...IF you piled them all together, i'm sure they'd amount to about 100 pounds.
me: or more than 100 pounds.
this is us at 11pm.
not too crazy.
yet.

lyddie, brushing my hair with water [because that's what siblings do when you've had a hat on all day because you didn't feel like putting hair crap [aka gel, wax, mousse, whatevs] in it, and now you've got hat hair and it's splendid]

me: ow, that hurts. i think you scraped my scalp over there. [gesture]
lyddie: oh, i'm sorry boss. i'll try not to do it again.
me: um...that's alright, [ahem] employee. just don't do it again.

lyddie: yeah, you don't look too good.
me: thanks.
lyddie: you're welcome.

lyddie: your hair! it looks exciting! [to you ignorant folk who haven't seen megamind, this is a quote from there that she uses often on me.]
me: um. sure.

rach, lyddie, me.

lyddie: i shouldn't be telling you this, but we [beka and me] had a very, ahem, personal talk. like, i'm saying so personal. . . . i almost cried.
rach: wow, personal, huh? [cracks joke about personalness] so personal...you can't even tell it to yourself. lol.
lyddie: hey, that wasn't a funny joke, rachel. beka's solemn. not laughing. so solemn, like a pig that doesn't get any food.

i love siblings.
have i said that before?
i love my siblings.
except for when i hear, after my hair has been mussed beyond all recognition of seeming like this-is-a-sane-person, such dreaded words . . .
lyddie: where's a camera?

lyddie, putting a pony tail --a tiny one-- in my bangs as i type, distracted from reality.
me, in pain: ow, that hurts! that hurts too much!
lyddie: it's ok. pain for beauty. [gets tiny mirror] wanna see how you look? beautiful. juuuuust beautiful. ;)
me: i can't even see me.

p.s. another blog that features siblings and their awesome hilarity is ladaisi. it's one of the things that got me hooked on her blog. :) :)

two days before christmas.

december 22, we went swing dancing.
this was the 23rd.
the 24th was when i finally wrote/posted the swing dancing post. lol.

french roast coffee that i bought at sven's.
anna having left for work; a napping little guy, fallen asleep in the most darling position ever.
a lovely, super cute friday. :)

he was truly asleep. mhmmm.

never seen such cuteness before. sheesh. :)

thank.you.

3:11pm
Only 9 more minutes, then I wake Dad up.
Him, Caleb and I came home 15 minutes ago…earlier than the rest of the family from the huge family gathering with Dad's side of the family.
I’m tired.
So tired.
Not too full. Thank God for self control. [Finally. ;) ]
When Dad and David come home from the farm, we plan on finishing Capt. America, then starting in on some chick flicks. David says he’s going to stay and wait it out till “he” comes.
El oh el.
So…line up?
Letters to Juliet
Leap Year
Roman Holiday.
Yes. Chick flicks.
And leftover chicken noodle soup.
As we wait for some very dear friends to come . . . there may be a post coming on that. :) Some of you know what I'm talking about . . . It's finally Thanksgiving weekend! YAY!
It looks like it could rain.
Check out D's post on thanksgiving.

Today . . . is a very good day.
I plan on brewing some peppermint coffee after said nap, and cleaning/organizing until Dad and David come home. :)
Then let the fun and waiting begin. :)

food, dance, dreams.

as some of you have probably known for a while now, thursday nights we go swing dancing.
anna, me, and our friends anna, martha, and nancy:)

we left early and met for dinner at cafe centraal . . . i made the mistake of eating the whole sandwich and most of the sweetie fries, plus the tiramisu i split with anna.
oy.
it took a good half an hour before i felt anything less than nauseous and unwell. heh. i should've remembered i don't do well with eating a rich, awesome, whole meal before anything but a nap. :) so, i skipped out on the hour long lesson {sad face} but joined in for the open dancing. never again am i eating before dancing.
on another note, because of all the construction on roads lately, an important exit was closed and therefore we were heading in the opposite direction needed . . . for quite a while. so we got home a bit later than normal . . . 1am. not too bad, i say. :D adventures. they just happen sometimes.
all in all, it was a good night. :)

nap: something that happens to beka once in a blue moon.

4:00pm
i was on the edge of sleep.
i felt it, that beloved fog, surrounding me
surrounding me like water
and i was sinking
ah!
the dream started.
this is what i like about naps.
most people i've talked to
don't dream when they nap.
i do, 98% of the time.
so . . . the dream set before me.
the dance floor.
hands in mine.
older, smiling face.

music rising.

basic steps start.
my right foot goes back for the rock step . . .
and someone yells up the stairs to my bedroom.
i'm awake.

on the rock step!
i was dreaming about dancing, for freaking goodness' sake!
ah.
sigh.
half of the time my dreams get interrupted, i can go back and try to continue them. not so, today.
maybe tonight . . . ;)

All good music resembles something. Good music stirs by its mysterious resemblance to the objects and feelings which motivated it.
[Jean Cocteau]

redo: the best coffee cake ever.

for this recipe and all those egg whites, i pulled out the old kitchen-aid that dad and mom got who-knows-how-long-ago.
it worked good. ;)

strange fact, though? this is probably my 3rd time ever using the thing.
i prefer lovely stainless steel whisks and wooden spoons and spatulas in my hands.
i'm just weirdly old-fashioned like that.

watching egg whites do their thing in the kitchen-aid.

getting there . . . not quite.

ah! see there?
not bad, not bad at all. :)
next, you get to fold that into the main batter.

the best coffee cake ever: by the pioneer woman.
For the cake:  
    * 1-1/2 stick Butter, Softened
    * 2 cups Scant Sugar
    * 3 cups Flour, Sifted
    * 4 teaspoons Baking Powder
    * 1 teaspoon Salt
    * 1-1/4 cup Whole Milk
    * 3 whole Egg Whites, Beaten Until Stiff
    
For the topping:
    * 1-1/2 stick Butter, Softened
    * 3/4 cups Flour
    * 1-1/2 cup Brown Sugar
    * 2 Tablespoons Cinnamon
    * 1-1/2 cup Pecans, Chopped

Preparation Instructions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Sift together flour, baking powder, and salt. Beat egg whites and set aside.
Cream butter and sugar. Add flour mixture and milk alternately until combined. Don't overbeat. Fold in beaten egg whites with a rubber spatula. Spread in a well-greased 9 x 13 (or larger!) baking pan. A cake pan with higher sides would be best.
In a separate bowl, combine topping ingredients with a pastry cutter until crumbly. Sprinkle all over the top.
Bake for 40 to 45 minutes, or until no longer jiggly. Serve warm---delicious.

sigh. it didn't turn out half as beautiful-looking as the pioneer woman's . . . 

but it tasted good.
perfect with coffee.
the end.

bread, mondays, and ....sleep. ;)

I had some thoughts --quite funny ones at that-- for what I would write in this post today.

Like... I feel and look like a hodge-podge, tired, weird, funky, person. Those are just a few words that popped into my head when thinking, feeling and seeing what I look like today. And how today is. Affecting everyone.

Blank canvas. (no makeup today, but that not the point) 
Red-black plaid flannel pj pants as the house heats up for the first time since last Thursday.
Hair up in a haphazardly-looking messy bun stuck with a dpn (double-pointed knitting needle). 
Eating copious amounts of Trader Joe's chocolate-covered coffee beans (well...only about 2 handfuls...ahem.) 
Cream aran cabled sweater.
I never wear sweaters.
Have I mentioned that before? I'm more of a zip-up hoodie person. And not those really crazy kind of zip-ups, either. Nice and simple. Not too colorful or primary...
You know it's a weird, slow, messy-house day when I'm wearing a sweater.
Oh, and pink-red-white "x's and o's" socks? No one matches their clothes on days at home, do they? Because heck, I'm not. Not today, I'm not.
Not to mention I woke up really late. Went to bed around 8pm, (holy cow! someone call the...nevermind. just pray for me.) 
I was reading until the words weren't making any sense, then shut off my light before 9pm. Yeah....I never go to sleep and words never stop making sense to me before 9. Heck, before 11. It was weird.
:)
I won't say the time that I woke up at, because some of you will be jealous, some of you will be disgusted, and some of you . . . well. I don't see how I didn't wake up earlier than that all by myself, considering how early I went to sleep.

But with all that said, Caleb needs to clean the wreck of a kitchen.
And I need some tea.
Hope y'all have a lovely Monday. :) I'm going to blog-hop a wee bit more, then make myself some green tea and stop myself from eating more coffee beans. :)
In fact, I need to catch up in reading John. I didn't read anything this weekend; there was no time...yeah, I know. No excuses. So anyways. I'll go catch up on that soon....

p.s. I was making these on Thursday night at 10:30pm, for the Shabbat dinner we have on Saturday nights with the families and Nancy and Colin Campbell.

And here are the lovelies, in the oven...

Mmm, I got to be very very good at braiding fast and good; Thursday night alone I made 12 loaves like these. :) Before that, I don't know how many I made. 

A batch of the bread recipe I use with everything (including this) makes anywhere from 8 huge ones to 12+ nice cute-sized, braided challah's.

So anyways. G'bye for now.

hey unlovely, I will love you...

9:14pm

Hello everyone. :)
Unlike some less-privileged people, I didn't get out of bed until 3pm. I feel I need to inform you that I have never slept in that late, much less without taking a shower since the day before. (ew) But if you're a girl, you'll understand I had a legitimate reason. I happen to be one of those who stays in bed most of that first day.
But I did get out of bed, and last night I did start on one of those 3 library books I have, so I'm making slow progress and everything. :) Church was good, I went last minute with Dad when he came home from the farm and got ready. Gosh, but I love this t-shirt. (sorry, randomness coming here) It was given to me lately, just (haha) randomly, and it's dark army grey-green, and it has a rocket, a smiley-face moon, and some stars on the front, all of which look colored on with a type of marker, although it's normal paint stuff that you normally find on t-shirt fronts. :)
I thought I'd share that with you. It's kind of whimsy, as Anna put it, and it pairs so well with these blue-green plaid pj pants I got from Wally-World (Wal-Mart) for only $8 freaking dollars. Nice, huh? Oh yeah. I love that price. It doesn't hurt too much. ;) $12 hurts more.

I love this song. Sorry I'm so random tonight, must be all the hormones. ;]
This is an excerpt from the song Some Will Seek Forgiveness, Others Escape; by Underoath. I love this song, and one of our distant cousins had this playing during their supposedly-aboslutely-sweet unique personally written vows last summer, and darn it, their voices were not miked, so therefore we heard this lovely song and not them at all...Anna and I were so bummed.
But while we strained our ears in hopes of hearing at least an echo in the big, airy, beautiful pale-ice-blue-architecturey church, we heard this song, and I recognized the voice of Aaron Gillespie (The Almost, and also the drummer for Underoath) singing. Of course, the sound guy faded it out beautifully in the quiet space before Spencer Chamberlain (the screamer of the band, yes, it's more than a slightly screamo band...hahah) started screaming the next lyrics before the end of the song, so when we went home, (I already had basically all of Underoath's CDs) I listened to it with another reason to like it; it reminded me of the wedding, and how it was unlike any others we've went to... in different ways I shall not discuss right now, because I need to go! Maybe fry an egg, because I'm hungry and have basically starved until 3pm, ate a yummy rice dish Anna cooked up in my absence, and then drank an Oregon vanilla chai that I mixed up before leaving for church.
So here are a few lyrics, and have a good night.

Hey unlovely, I will love you
Hey unfaithful I will teach you
To be stronger
Hey ungraceful I will teach you
To forgive one another
Hey unfaithful I will teach you
To be stronger
Hey unloving
I will love you
And will love you
For those of you not accustomed to my sometimes really-random-randomness, I thought I would just randomly blog, because I would. And I did. Just see it as a sign that I like comments. And I love ya'll. :) Sleep good!

And know that God loves you, no matter how unlovely you are.
(repeats to self: God loves me no matter how unlovely I am...)
We all need to know that. It's whether we care or not, that depends on how we live our lives... that's one of my thoughts on it, anyways.
G'night!!! for the last time... ;)