poblano peppers.

i just tried take a nap; for 40 minutes; unsuccessfully. what with a decently late night last night, and swing dancing tonight along with getting home at nearly 1am . . . i kind of wanted to take part of the luxury.
anyhow. that didn't work.
maybe i got enough sleep last night or something.
and maybe i'm excited; tomorrow, justin's coming up for the weekend. :)
could be both. lol.
today we went to the farmer's market.
i got 5 poblano peppers, 2 eggplants, and two huge bunches of kale all for the grand total of $7.
heck. yeah.
and the lady who sold it all to us told us how she likes to prepare these wonderful, mild-to-medium heat peppers, which in the first place  i'd never heard of before. 
[i don't remember how much the chunk of gouda was, though....]

stuffed poblano peppers....i'm looking forward to making them.
when i do, shall post a picture and let you all know how it turned out.
i have plans for some yummy soups in this next week. ones i've never made before myself.
i can't wait. it's totally soup weather again. :)

do you like soup? what's your favorite??

a particular process of tiredness for a certain person.

friday, september 21, 2012

10:30pm

the tired phases of beka marie:

1. someone asks me how i am, and i tell them in weird metaphors.
take, for instance, this texted conversation of mine with justin:

him: how are you, my love?
me: i....i feel exhaustified. like a jellyfish in a pot of hot water after being a beluga whale swimming around the ocean all day.
weird metaphors are a DEFINITE sign of my tiredness. i'm not quite coherent.
but hey, i didn't have any typos. i'm not quite that tired yet i guess. :P
...ahem...this is what you get to look forward to living with. lol.

his reply was sweet, nonetheless. undeniably so. 

undeservedly so. ♥

2. laziness.
then i gather my energies from stray corners of my mind [yes, it is square...er, something like that. of course.]
and something amazing happens.
:)

3. frustration. edging towards choice words.
i was boxing this bugger lovely canvas up, and because it's been a while since i've sold a larger canvas like this, i had forgotten exactly how easily frustrating it can be to make a custom box for it.
because there are no boxes in the size and shape of exactly what i need....i have to cut down huge boxes and tape it around the canvas and its bubble wrap, etcetera.
well.....tonight, it was uber frustrating.
i have decided --in the heat of the moment, of course; because that is the best time to make decisions that effect other people, hahaha!-- that i am going to hike the price for my remaining large canvases because they cause me so much stress and it takes so bloody long [more than half hour] to wrestle the box into the exact freaking shape and size i need it, not to mention taping it all securely and it ending up slightly decently attractive too. :P that last part doesn't happen. i just make sure the canvas will get there safely.
i was about to pull my hair out when the one side of the box came untaped for the 2nd or 3rd time of my trying so hard to get it to cooperate. [i love painting. any size canvas. but shipping it? and prepping it for that? oh my word. no.]
mom just looked over at me from her sewing machine and smiled sympathetically. "just do it one thing at a time."
"i am doing it one side at a time!" gritted teeth. "but it's not working." urgh.
yes. frustration. my companion of the night.
i am so done with these huge canvases. i mean, it's not even that big!! but i am definitely charging more for any big ones like this.
[mom looked over and laughed when she heard my fingers clicking away quite fiercely on the keyboard, typing this post. and i nearly let that "post" be spelled "poast". i have reached the final stage.]

4. typos. they finally happen. sentences start to get flipped around. words get letters added to them like they mean something else. or absolutely nothing at all.
dear God, i need sleep.


sigh.
i have forgotten how therapeutic blogging is.

ciao.

this: my wednesday.

this was my friday.
and a favorite song.

♥

8:30am skype date.

my skype date is super freaking amazing and talented. ohboy. you can't even imagine. :)

then, because i had cute socks on [thanks, love;)] . . . and because a brother was nearby, i took a few pictures before we headed out to visit grandpa in the hospital before he had surgery.
does ben look like a creeper? maybe he didn't get enough sleep. lol

me and the brother.

fall is starting to be really noticeable all of a sudden.

sigh. pretty orange leaves. my my.

:)

because my skills were requested for birth photography of a lady anna is a doula for anytime soon . . .

this picture ^^ makes me laugh. of course, i'm not the one pregnant and impatient and growing a little human and so ready to be done and see the precious sweetie. heh.

speaking of patience...and hippie-ness....hahaha. here. the due date debacle. i figure it's best to prepare one's mindset even before babies are seriously on the horizon. [laughing]
interesting, no?

anyhow! it's too late for any of you who liked my c.s. lewis painting...it sold the other night. :) :) :)
i'll make another sometime. don't worry.
it'll be grand.
i plan on doing some j.r.r. tolkien quotes very soon so that excited people can buy some awesome art inspired by the hobbit coming out in december. :)

i have hacked the system. i am back.

i finally figured out how to keep my email open in one tab, and blogger account open in another.
or maybe google just loosened its power grip on stupid quirks that annoy the freaking heck out of sweet, down to earth people like me. ;)

i love the icarus account.
i first heard "favorite girl" at a wedding a couple months ago, and swing danced to it with caleb.
let me tell you, that song was dang fun to dance to.

sigh.
anna made these today: a basic recipe of betty crocker's toffee bars.
with pecans chopped on top....then, she made salted caramel to drizzle over top.
sigh again.
those things were illegal.
er, let me paint a picture for you....

anna: beka, did you see the heaven-for-your-mouth that i made?
me: ummmm...no?
anna: they're salted caramel chocolate toffee bars.
.... i guess that says it all. heh. :)

hope you all have a great thursday night.
i'm off to dinner with some friends and one of my uncles who lives in the area...and swing dancing! and a late night! ow...really really really looking forward to that coffee in the morning. :P ;)

life & people: thoughts in my head.

i adore this piece of art by lauren at ladaisi blog.
the quote speaks to me more and deeper and clearer as time goes on.

...i've forgotten how to blog.
all i know now is quick updates once a month or less; a few sentences on what's happening lately for the sake of documenting a tiny, tiny bit of my life once in a blue moon.

i'm obsessed with this song.
it brings such peace to my heart every time i listen to it.
the truth is, it's on repeat. all the time. i need the reminder so much.
He never fails me.

something i've been thinking about lately is . . . no matter if we have a harder time of it in certain areas of our life compared to others, or have it [seemingly] easier, the fact is that it's our story. our life. and it may be different. or maybe we don't agree with something or think our way was better or they should've or could've done it our way or a better way... but they chose that path. and there are things to learn in the pain and challenge and beauty of our current [unique] paths that we won't learn any other way.
i can get stuck on thinking of ways i'd do something differently from someone else in my future, or thinking how my life is definitely going to be much different in certain ways and how some people may look down on something i do or how i do it, but eventually i realize that none of us are supposed to measure ourselves and our lives up to anyone else's, or their ideas and ideals.
that's not the point of life. it's not the point at all.
and when i remember that, and how we shouldn't be fixed on the pros and cons of people [or us] doing things right or wrong ways . . .
but rather letting it go with a we are all different, making different choices, not right or wrong mentality . . .
then i can finally know joy in my circumstances.
because they may be different, or in fact wrong or weird or out of line to someone else with a completely different life story and starkly contrasted life stand point, my life is what it is, and i'm learning and am being given things to realize and enjoy and struggle through . . . right here and now, there is something important going on.
there is a bigger picture outside of conversations in myself or with others figuring out the knots and twists of decisions we could all make in the future or have made in the past.
there is a bigger picture outside of the thing we're currently worrying about.
what is the good in front of us?
our circumstances will change; things do not stay the same.
so, what can we see, what can we find that will make this time more valuable instead of wishing it away or only feeling the challengingness of it?

what is the good in front of us? . . .