Wednesday, February 29, 2012

weddings and such like that.

there's been a lot of talking about weddings lately.
surprise, surprise, right??
you know, since anna and i are in heather's [along with several other young women] this saturday.
i'm excited. :) she's going to be a beautiful bride, derek's going to be a handsome groom, us bridesmaids are going to be gorgeous [hahah], and it's going to be a wonderful time, and a really lovely, busy weekend.
tomorrow night [thursday] we host the bachelorette party, and i have a feeling it's going to be all sorts of awesome. with tons of laughing. i happen to like laughing.  and making people laugh.

so with all this talk, my mind's been spinning.
what's traditional.
what isn't.
what's expected.
what isn't.
what is compulsory decisions.
what isn't.
what's important.
what isn't.
what's truly needed and wanted.
what isn't.
what blueprints do we throw out or make our own.
what things do we make new.
what do we care about.
why do we do what we do??

so far i haven't talked with many people who have dramatically different views opposing to mine, which have been shaped a lot over the past few months with heather [and my dear friend, pj] both planning weddings for march.
tonight i finally got around to researching wedding parties, because the more i talk about the people who spend hundreds to stand up behind the people saying vows and walking down the aisle, the more confused i've gotten.
tonight i finally stopped procrastinating and just talking about it.
so, without further delay, a link for random interesting tidbits of the history of the wedding party:
what is that wedding party for anyway?

or a shorter version of some of the same information:
why bridesmaids and groomsmen?

Source: via A K on Pinterest

as she trimmed my hair this sunday, miss joann and i talked wedding stuff --[she had her sister stand up with her, only a few close family and a couple friends, and no big fancy dinner; just a white dress, not a marketed-as-wedding-boutique white dress that cost hundreds. it was meaningful for them, and what she preferred.], that was fascinating and down-to-earth to say the least.

[to say that i was intrigued by this blog i randomly happened upon is only the half of it. click here to read a fascinating blog: 2000 dollar wedding.]
wedding industrial complex. i find that tag in the blog really interesting.

as for the ring part of things, i love the different older customs and "with this ring" stuff found here. [yeah, a wiki link. don't hate.]

i mean, even though i'm partial even more nowadays to the idea of a smaller, eclectic, sweet, more intimate and simple wedding, what it really comes down to is what is right for you. it's your flippin' wedding and you and your honey should decide --if you're the type that want it to be show-like and glitzy, or cut down to the main purpose of it: a beautiful ceremony and gathering to celebrate the beginning of your lives together in this union.
that's what it comes down to.
what is important to you.
and what do you want the people [large or small numbers alike] to remember it as...
decide what you really want, and carry that out, no matter what you think others may be looking for traditionally or expecting of you. it's your beautiful day, and it's only one day. just the start. so don't make it too stressful leading up to it, because it's over before you know it. lol. that's the deep wisdom i've come to realize in while observing and being immersed in tons of details everyone else is going through right now.
i'll be sure to write a follow up post someday in the future to say how easy or tough it was to carry out a simple dream of it. for that one day.
what's your experience been with weddings?
how was yours? were you excited/pleased with it? was it stressful or small or huge or casual?
do you dream/plan for yours someday, if you haven't been to that place in life yet?


LeAnna said...

Honestly? I was in la-la land and my Mom stressed over everything. True story. I was floating on a cloud somewhere in never-never land, and didn't want to pick colors, or themes, or napkins, or cakes. I wanted to marry my Man, an would have done so in a pair of jeans and a tee if that were all I could afford.

However, my Mama is a planner, and a crafty one. She griped at me, we yelled. wedding was beautiful. It was a stress-free day (for me anyway!) and I smiled and floated on air. Looking back, I can't say it was 100% "me" and it was a lot of what my Mom wanted to do or what she thought her and Dad could afford. I remember that feeling frustrating. I did NOT want tuille and puffy things at my wedding. I got pink tuille. But my Mom made it look, I don't know. I can't complain, and I never do. It really was a beautiful wedding! I picked all my music, and it was very non-traditional. I wrote ur vows and a good portion of what I wanted the preacher to say. But I didn't hear a word. Some friends sang a song and I can't tell you what it me, our wedding wasn't about being a show. It WAS a big deal (I mean, Brandon waited 28 years for me to come along and a lot of people were SO excited for him) but it wasn't just about putting on the biggest baddest party.

For me, it was about doing whatever I had to do to marry that Man, and marry him well. It involved loathsome pink tuiille and a fountain of punch, but I wanted a honeymoon, dangit, and a wedding comes first. ;) And sometimes (especially when you're the eldest daughter) you have to appease the people before you get what you want.

I will say it always frustrates me when I hear people say that if they can't have their DREAM wedding, then they just won't get married, or will wait until they can afford it. I say forget the dream wedding. If you've got your dream man isn't that all you need? You can stand in a county courthouse and have a reception 2 weeks later, and your dream never faded. He was right there with you the whole time.

Maybe that's super cliche and whatever, but it was my experience. Leave it up to Beka to get me all deep-thinking at 11:40 at night. ;)

Jennifer Rod said...

Good stuff you have here. I agree with you in saying that it really depends on each person, what their limits are, their style and what's priority. I dont want to say Im going to be a particular way for my big day cause I dont know right now how it will be when that comes, but I honestly would love a very family & friends oriented thing... fun and romantic.

Natalie said...

Hmm... kinda strange, I LOVE weddings, but I don't give a ton of thought to my own. I think I'd need the groom before I started planning and getting all crafty (I guess I'd have a wedding heavy with DIY's). Close family and friends and probably outdoors. The one splurge: photography. After all that's the one thing that I'll have sitting in my house for years.

chambanachik said...

I would have wanted my wedding to be different. Sky thinks it was perfect, but he's a guy, and guys just don't put their hearts into all the details like most girls do. And yet, and the end of the day, it doesn't really matter as long as you're married.