Tuesday, May 31, 2011

bits and pieces. few words.

so sweet.
and so interesting.

i heart braids.
can anybody say menu?
my favorite colors in acrylic paint.
burnt umber is the best shade of chocolate ever.
a tailor-made bride. nothing like a good old fiction book in 1800's southwest. hah. it's been a long time since i've read one of these. i more prefer a good, thoughtful, contemporary women's story. or, once in a blue moon, ted dekker's stuff.
but this has proved to be amusing and a few things to think on.

now if you'll excuse me, i think i may go take a few shots of the sunshine outside, running and dancing and tripping through the leaf-laden trees. . . . and there's a pioneer woman recipe for dinner tonight.
pasta with tomato cream sauce.
heck yes. :)

Monday, May 30, 2011

a few facts about today.

my arms are hot.
my hands are cold.
i didn't pass up an opportunity to hang out with the w family --whom we hardly ever get to see, due to distance:(-- so i got burned.
noontime at a pool will do that to you.
darn campgrounds didn't have any shade whatsoever within 50 feet of that pool.
on the other hand, i dozed for a while after watching inkheart on the way home.
and yesterday, on the way there, we watched alice in wonderland for the first time.
the johnny depp and chaya-from-defiance version.
the writer of that story (alice in wonderland), i'm sure, was half insane.
or on something when he wrote it.
i liked the film though.
great cgi...interesting plot. johnny was amazing, as always.
amazingly weird.
there were so many moments that captain jack came out.
that queen of red hearts was horrid, i tell you.
in other great news, i got permission to post some birth pictures.
i discussed it here and here. :)
so, i'm going to post about the birth soon.
pretty excited:)

more fog this sunday.

and new shoes for me. [also, new shirt from tarjay<3] . . . my good ol' pumps starting coming apart at one of the visible seams. sigh. they served me well for a few years.

on every roadtrip --especially on a chilly, rainy sunday like yesterday, this is beautiful. 
^^ flannel teddy bear pillow. 100% cotton old quilt, super soft, made by someone whose name is slipping my memory right now.

and lastly, i'm not super into animals that much....but when everyone slowly deserted me and jude for the playground down the road, jude needed attention.
plus, he was soft.
and nice, sweet, quiet, and tired.
not snappy, like he can be with kids.
after a while of head rubs, he even rolled over and gave me his belly.
i've only seen him one other time in my life.
i tell ya, we were buddies for an hour. :)

Saturday, May 28, 2011


last night i went to bed at a record-breaking 11:40p.m.
of course, having a full day and day-before and all-night intense stuff contributed to my more sensible sleep time.
early friday morning, a baby was born.
as i mentioned before in that post about photography? mhmm. that one.
it was intense, as i said before, and beautiful.
and, as it turns out he's a he, henry is adorable. born with yummy chub because he was about 1 1/2 weeks "overdue".

i'm waiting on a message from the mom if i can post several pictures on here or not.
i took about 510, from 6pm when we got there thursday, till 11ish the next day -friday- when we left. hah.

when we got home around 2ish pm friday, we dawdled, practiced music, loaded instruments up, and played over the course (not every second) of 6:30-8:30pm. just you wait till i give an outline of the birth time how many hours before that, because then you'll understand why i wore my yoga pants to this music-playing event.
yoga pants.
those ones, from tarjay.
but we played, we sang, and the special people ranging from 15-older in this facility loved it. lots of hymns, or should i say a few. amazing grace. how great thou art. a mighty fortress. how great is our God. yes, i know that last one isn't a hymn. i'm just listing songs.
the people's hearts were sooo beautiful.
though there was this grumpy lady who was talking to me at break time, while the rest were wheeling around in their wheel chairs or walking around hugging or touching people, making conversation with smiles and mostly soft hearts.
but you have to wonder what makes [this lady in particular] that way; something painful happened to them or something or maybe they wake up all the time grumpy.
so many of them just seemed like children.
and children, for the most part, are so inspirational.
adults in the real world can be so hard. so rational. so unemotional and unfeeling and logical and tough.
these people made me see something different.
they just loved being loved. and loving in return.
there was this one man, mr. paul. he was tall, skinny, wore glasses, was so enthusiastic. his words were muffled some of the time, not very clear. but he was so happy. and seeing the drums ben brought?
whoa. he got excited. told me he played drums for 2 years. for 2 years. he was good at them. fast. real fast. and one day he got caught playing them at 4 in the morning. at this point in the story, he put his wrists together as if he was put in handcuffs.
his reactions during the music was just priceless. waving his coffee mug in the air as some people would their cell phones or hands at a concert. he sang in higher octaves to this one song. i almost laughed.
and the last song we did, was i'll fly away.
it was mom, anna and me singing it.
they all loved it.

so today i was just glad that after going.going.going all day yesterday, i slept through the night and woke around 10, showered (ahhhhh wonderful hot water), brewed coffee in a blueblueblue outfit and apron, and got to washing more dishes.

nothing's home like brewing coffee in the kitchen.

and surfaces that get clean with your work and hands and music playing.
and red nail polish i picked up at waaallgreens on the way home from the birth . . . i kinda like it. :)

now if you'll excuse me, i have to get on with making a menu for monday-sunday, as anna's going up north with friends this week.
lasagna is going to be on that menu for sure. ;)

Thursday, May 26, 2011

6 great things about today.

1. tarjay's black yoga pants. they're soft, i've never had any before today, and i'm falling in love with them.
2. the cold wind that plagued the hours of 9:30-12 today. i was wearing my sweater and longer black trench that i wore back in february-march. :\ sam and reese wore funky adorable hats. i want one like sam's.
a sweater and tank top i didn't get.
3. tarjay's tank tops. too long, but i love the light green and the white one i got. layer, layer! i love it. :)
 no, i didn't take this picture at his booth. he didn't have any flowers on this cold day. 
this was at a random older lady's booth indoors.
4. the guy who sells flowers and vegetables at the farmer's market. okay, so he might be cute, and wow he smiles. nevermind.
5. the cherry apron i got at the farmer's market. an apron like no other i've ever had. :) but dangit, i forgot to get red nailpolish at target...
6. the courtyard that's perfect for a not-too-big wedding and beautiful photography. of course that's the only thing i'm worried about. ;)

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

artistic endeavors: wildflowers.

it's 1:44pm. at the moment, as i'm starting this post.
julie [the lady that wants me to photograph her birth] called at 8:20am with the news that...well...some things had happened that normally happen around the time-vicinity day that a baby gets born. haha. i really just don't feel like typing the stuff here. i get it and all, but my blog isn't exactly a birth discussion blog, so i'd rather have that stuff go un-named. el oh el.
you mommies know what  i'm talking about.
plugs, ya know? she's 41 weeks and one day, totally ready. read this if you're interested in birth stuff and what i hinted at. lol.
okay, i'm getting off that subject.
i think i'll post a canvas, because i can't wait to show you the wildflower one i did for wildflower cafe.
oh my. i have yet to post about that "best monday ever" huh?
wow. what suspense.
just a note, though, because i don't have enough brain space to write it out well enough right now, i'm listening to the beatles for the first time ever (without it being in a movie's background) and it came from this post by kristen leigh: ron & lauren {shade tree and evergreen wedding}.
yeah. first time ever. don't slap me. 
some people might consider that a cardinal sin or something.
 may 7
so onto the painting, yes? 
psh, what takes me so long to get around to it?

i ramble.
that's why.
oh, and i think you'd all find some amusement in what my little sisters called "coffee nerd beka".
i saw these super-bendy nike frames in one of my drawers while looking for chocolate, and i decided to wear them. with a pretty dress. yep. that's how i roll.
today turned into such a blah day (haven't had one of those in a while; i know, strange!) that i just drank down a huge mug that contained half cooled black coffee and half ovaltine chocolate milk.
anna calls this stage of the canvas floating flower heads. yep. so uncreative and left-brained and . . . nice of her. heh.
yay! the flowers have stems. and leaves. 
it's days like these that my ocd stuff jumps out at everyone.
anna witnessed some odd stuff earlier. i may or may not write about it. it's so particular. and weird.
to be honest, this day is feeling like one of those horrid ones where you just want to put your hair up in a messy bun, push play on set fire to the rain or a chick flick, and let yourself go. 
it's not that nice of a feeling, frankly. i'd rather feel more energetic. not needing cold coffee after having 2-3 cups already earlier....waiting, waiting, hoping for that phonecall to make that 1 1/2 hour trek to the birth taking place. buy a new sd card with excitement running through my veins.
frankly, that's what i want to do instead of get dressed up and go to church.
ohhhhh myyyy. don't no one get their guns out. i know some who would. figuratively. ;)

another thing: new ways forward: in which i can't laugh this time. fascinating. relatable. i've had that happen before. it's the oddest thing to get down to the fact that this sort of thing affects real people.

bittywingsbaby's i am His beloved series is still going on...you should go read the posts!
they're pretty darn wonderful.

Monday, May 23, 2011

artistic endeavors: galatians 5:22.

 painting and pictures: march 9
somehow i skipped over this one in my line-up of canvas posts, because this is older than the morrie schwartz quote one, and even older than the couple before that.
say what?
personally, this is one of my favorites.

i almost had the thing memorized when i finished it.
and it provoked thoughts delving into the definitions of the words. the characteristics.
good stuff, i tell you.

random fact: today and yesterday i've been struggling with typing things. maybe it's that weekend spurt and most of last week going to bed after 1am......hmmm....
once in a while, a word will scramble as it comes out my fingertips.
i almost spelled that "ginfertips".
yeah, that type of mis-wording.
and flipping sentences.
like sentence flipping and?

i may have some type of dyslexia (actually, i'm definitely prettydarn sure), but it's not bugging me too bad and i'll survive. hahaha.

dang. what a good hair day. i remember taking these pictures. it cooperated all day. and i like that shade of dark hair, too. as i said up there, this was in march.
see why it's one of my favorites?
and the dilapidated remains of cursive fruits-of-the-spirit behind the blocky ones..... mhmm:)

some really sweet music i found by coincidence: the workday release.
acoustic. cute. yep. me likes it.

and for the random conversation:
anna was mentioning that she wants to start going to a co-ed bible study with a friend...and she looked at me and said "is it okay if you don't come?"
i stared at my computer screen. "sure. yeah. of course. that's fine. i mean....yeah."
i guess she started feeling bad, so she started trying to give a plausible? reason: "well, you know why. it'd be like a frog walking in after a unicorn!"
i startled, then glared at her with faux hurt feelings. "what!?!??" wounded gasp. "i'm going to write about that. i...need to...." -gasp- "cope. with it." sniff, sniff.
"well, not a frog exactly. let me change that. it's more like...a fluffy bunny. yeah. that's me."
"i'm going to write about this unicorn and fluffy bunny! i'm telling you write now!"
and, well, she didn't kick up a storm, so it's getting published here. for my future friends and everyone to read. and maybe, hopefully, my future [husband and] children someday. hi! i know you're brilliant. can't wait to see what you grow up to be and what God does in your life! oh, and please vacuum for your dear mother; she probably still hates it. ;) 
i hope you --my current readers-- noticed my playing around with that tiny letter, and i hope you sensed the sarcasm there, also. ;)

aaaaand i found this awesome little blog done by singer/songwriter of the workday release.
he's got some excellent thoughts.
namely, i'm reading this post: dating.
i almost spelled that as daintg. mhmm. my spelling issues are cropping up all over the darn place. sorry.
just be glad i correct them. ;)
so, just a note--that post on dating isn't just on dating. it's fascinating!
that last word originally had 5 exclamation points at the end, but i figured, as per a tip i read in a great writing book, that a single exclamation point will get the same point across without seeming odd or teeny-bopper-ish. or something like that.
anyone ever seen yours, mine and ours? ahh, good memories. that's where the word "teeny-bopper" comes from, at least to my recollection.
it's 10:30. methinks i'm going to publish this before it becomes too long.
who knows, i might find more awesome stuff on this useful-sometimes-addicting-and-horrible place called the internet. ;)

one. last. thing.
beautiful music: by rebekah fancher. [i don't know about you, but i like her name! ;)
she's also tirzah photography. talk about a multi-talented woman.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

this is the stuff of life.

i took these as i was reading some of this great article: 21 things you need to know about that misguided man we all have been hearing/reading about this weekend.
so yeah. that's what i look like when reading stuff about a wacko. at least i came away informed.
i love how "little ol' me" wrote that part: i like my readers to be educated, so i'm telling you this.
it rained tonight.
the kind you can hear.
not quite the kind you can smell, but i might be wrong, because it was around the time i took those pictures up there, and i was sitting on the ground in the kitchen, sitting against some cupboards....so i couldn't really smell anything coming in from the outdoors. not too focused. hah.
i love the foggy factor, in the distant fields. taken at church earlier, around noon before we went to see pirates 4. which, by the way, was better than 3, and...i have to say that 1 and 4 are my favorites. the middle ones are good. just not as good. :)
this was last night.
wait. i mean this morning. a.m. around 1....
me and my sister, rach, were up while i cleaned the kitchen, listening to good, dancy music...
yeah, we might've gotten carried away a few times.
like this: right before we quit and went to bed. we hadn't watched it in so long; since the first time i showed it to her. so....of course. yeah. refresher course on quoting the funky stuff she brings up all the time.
like the days rach walks by me and says canna have yo numba? incessantly. annoyingly. but always making me laugh.
and the newest quote she does? el oh el, smiley face. from megamind. ummm, yes.
siblings can be the best and the worst.
now we quote it together, since that's how we roll.
that's how we bond. 
because God only knows how much we clash sometimes:P
by the way: i just want you all to know that this combo is awesome.
...what? eating basil leaves and "pizzeria" blend cheese at 1:26am isn't normal?
oh. hmm. well, if it helps any, it was only my first time. :] and it's amazing.
this news just in: alyssa, from the blog bitty wings baby, is hosting a series. it sounds pretty darn wonderful, so, starting monday, you should swing by there and see what's published! i'm in the line-up, as you can see, and i just wrote my post tonight , to-freaking-night, because . . . well, my right brain unorganized tendencies took over what with making food happen, anna coming home, art news, and the thoughts and tense edge-of-your-seat mindset i've got going once in a while about the birth i'm photographing any day now.
interesting news on that: they live almost 2 hours away. just a little over 1 1/2. so....i know this isn't their first so it's not going to be the longest, and all i can do is pray we get there at a good time to still document the moments leading up the actual wonderfulness.
so yeah.
dear God,
it would be just fine with me if you had her go into good, real labor around 10, have them call us around 11, right after i do my solo at church, and then i can get dressed down and hop in the car with mom to head to a house we've never been to and take pictures...all in a timely fashion.
thank You? :) :) :)
love, beka.
p.s. : as per erika's suggestion/request,here's a video....of the song i'm singing tomorrow. 
ironically so, this is actually me singing. the little boys in the vid are danny and david cito. lyddie's the cinematographer. ;) excuse my dorkiness. especially the end paranoia.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

you might as well . . . push pause on my blog music.

i don't know about you, but i see nothing wrong with the fact that when i see later hours approaching and have my laptop out, it's totally time for some funky groovy dancy music.
and cleaning the kitchen. well, if it's friday or saturday, that is. ahem, they're my kitchen duty days.
totally time, i'm telling you.
[why the title? because there's music to listen to below:)]
maybe some old school jars. if i left the zoo.
or....wait. new-school jars hits the spot tonight.
.......it's flippin' crazy how you can be absolutely transported back to a time, along with nearly every single feeling and most memories surrounding that time with just a song.
that's what happens to me. besides the fact, i'm a visual person. next fact, smells do the same thing to me as songs do.
when boys [lesson one] started playing, oh goodness.
it made my bite my lip. swallow hard. take a few huge, deep-reaching breaths.
all the above. occasions. conversations. laughs. i felt like i was back 2 years ago, spring-summertime. before i started this blog, wow.
almost made my head hurt; i don't want to go back. i'd really rather not. i'm a different person, and i was obsessed with this song at the beginning of the end of a long season in my life.
methinks i should make new memories with this song.
is there a song that touches or pokes you? 
this whole album does it for me. gosh do i need to change that.


this was a summer dress type of day.
i did, in fact, start the day out in a perfectly fine purple t-shirt and jeans. but after 10 minutes, call me ocd sensitive, but i couldn't stand it. it was warm. it was gorgeous out. and it called for a dress. even though i was cleaning a lot in the kitchen with danny. heck, that's what aprons are for. ;)
i practiced this song about 20 times this afternoon.
i solo it on sunday at church with my pretty little black acoustic:)

random cool fact:
sweet erika posted some blog love today: bloggers in my house. :) plus, yes, i shall blog that award very soon! this next week sometime:) also, the one from charla...i'll double them up. haha.

okay. the features win out over most everyone else for night kitchen music. yepperdoodles. [don't hate on my cool little word. i actually say that aloud. but don't try imagining it. hahah.] 
p.s. i just got a little scarred by julian smith's video rendezvous with you. maybe scarred isn't the right word, but i'm not so sure i'll sleep too well tonight:P someone has to watch it and tell me what they think. keep in mind that his videos are normally quite different from that one. el oh el.

Friday, May 20, 2011

artistic endeavors: 1 peter 4:8

today --the last few minutes of thursday, ahem-- i discovered a really lovely spot...
the back step.
it's in the middle of being re-carpeted, but the cool cement is nice too. this morning i read jesus calling and drank coffee on that back step.
then, after dinner and watching letters to juliet with anna, i went out and sat on the back step...drank in the air of outside.
there's nothing like the air outside, i tell you.
just go out there, breathe it in, and, seriously now, close your eyes.
just relax.
[the first time i typed that, it said relaz. heh.]
this canvas took a while.

one night i got inspired to experiment with modeling clay; it was probably a week later that i painted it yellow...and a month later that i painted the words.
inspiration, i tell ya.
it's a persnickety thing sometimes.
something i'm kind of nervous and/or tense about is....
a friend of ours is having her baby any day.
it's her 7th pregnancy....at home. water birth, also, as far as we know right now. :)
she's super-comfortable with everything...which is really awesome to see.
and....a while ago, she asked me to photograph her birth.
funky thing: before that, i had just been looking at this awesomely beautiful photoshoot of boho baby bump's birth by tirzah photography.
gorgeous, i'm telling you.
i have to take a deep breath and think calming thoughts to not hold myself to that sort of expectation...i mean, her captures were just wow. 
but anyways, deep inside i know that no matter what, when i'm not measuring myself and my skills and talents up to other people, i know that besides all that, this is going to be a very special, really beautiful time.
i, for one am psyched.
seeing as how i've learned a ton about birth since anna started taking the online classes to be a certified doula and with her going to several births over the past year (old friends and new friends) and me getting to read different birth stories online and in books she has, plus it's been nearly 10 1/2 years since lyddie was born....
i'm really excited to be at this birth.
it's going to be amazing. and i'm thrilled to capture the events and precious moments it's full of.
finished somewhere around april 20.
dang...it's 11:53pm and i think i'm liking this writing later at night much better than daytime hours! for one, no one's up. tonight, at least. sometimes we're night owls. tonight, thank God, is not one of them.
for two, i'm feeling words flowing better from my brain, and not just the left list loving side. ;) 
i think i'll go get my pj's on and go straight to sleep. no reading, no writing.
just darkness. and sleep.
i'm going to post this just after midnight. just because you never know when babies like to come these days, if you give them time as some people do. ;)
i hope you all have a really lovely friday.

p.s. this post is soo beautiful: a great many things. and the music? hah! i'm not the only one with great music in the background! :)

p.p.s. here's another teaser that my facebook friends will be familiar with. ;) i can't wait to post this canvas!! i painted this today, and it was intense.
.....maybe this is too much of a teaser...hmmm.....ah, forget it. i'll post it. g'night:)