thursday, august 11 2011the sun shines through the window.
like gold and amber, crystallized dust.
with that, and "home" sung as a cover by the
dad/daughter on youtube, in the present moment my
pulling the bag of decaf columbian coffee towards me
without more than a single thought, i sigh.
comfort. warmth. something steady and faithful and
always satisfying. like God.
talking to God and drinking coffee.
"so...what's the problem?" lyd asks me.
she's a pretty darn sensitive child.
and a little too much like me for my own comfort.
"well, you see...once you're twenty and older, you just
kinda....get tired. and..."
pouring the coffee grounds, a nice mound into the
coffee filter, i think. and think.
"and you start to want someone. someone to hold your
hand...just...someone." i smack the coffee maker top
down and press the on button.
she nods. looks at me with fluttery eyes. "yep. i get it."
oh, what a wistful tone. where did she learn that from?
she sighs and smiles sypmathetically at me.
"it must stink to be twenty."
oh. okay. sure. i guess so. i mean, pros and cons to
every age and anything else, right?
20 isn't too bad most days.
this song...just the sound of it curls up around my
i just need to curl up around His heart... and refocus
around different things after i get my pain,
loneliness and frustration out. sounds short and right.
let's see how much distraction i have to walk by
before i settle into the right place.