Monday, February 1, 2010

living, breathing

Living for myself is not the point of life.
I don't think it ever has been.
Therefore, I try not to live it just for me. That would suck, because at the end of the day and at the end of life, it would not be what I need, and I think...I think it's more character-building to do and live and choose things that are not always "the best" for ourselves... in the way that we deny some of those things that we want so badly right now, but really do not need. And I'm not talking about those gorgeous shoes you saw the other day, if you're one of those people. ;)
Do I have regrets of not choosing things I would've liked more? Maybe. Sure.
But life would be much harder in those areas if I had... if you know what I mean. [I guess maybe some of you can tell by now that I'm not talking about material things, but rather more human-related issues and times...]
What I just wrote; it's one of those things that either clicks or it doesn't (can ya holler?;))
Enjoy life; ha, we just watched Bright Star, and John Keats wrote his best poetry when he was in love with Fanny Brawne, before he died at 25 from TB.
Enjoy life, by all means. But do we think of honoring anyone but ourselves? That's the question, and what we'll be remembered for, beyond the good memories of what some may have of us...

Well, with seafood manicotti and tiramisu tonight for dinner, and hopefully an energetic staying-up-late unlike last night (wow, sleeping by 2am? holy cow. good record, let me tell you.), because tomorrow they leave.
I almost cried earlier when Jen called Caleb by his full name, and reminded him of his responsibility of cleaning the kitchen/washing the dishes today. PJ told me to stop it, because otherwise we'd all end up a mess.
But anyways, on a happier note, we went uptown to the coffeeshop and took a ton of picture, a couple of which I'll share someday... ;)

Good evening, peoples. I'll come back with more poetic, eloquent realistic drabble later. (hahahahah)


LeAnna said...

This was a very good post, Beka. My Mom and I were just talking today about how human nature is always seeking to honor it's own self. Even a "low self esteem" is actually nothing but a manifestation of selfishness - it's not really all about us, and how we feel, or what we think, or if we get what we want. To put others before ourselves, with constant never wavering consistency is what it's really all about. Even if it hurts a thousand times over, I would rather reap the benefits of the spiritual growth that surely follows, than to have gratified my own desire for even one second.

Good words, friend. Eat a piece of tiramisu for me, and hug Jen's neck.

beka said...

Oh, I did (hug Jen;)). And yes, the tiramisu was wonderful.